So I’m sorry it’s been a while, I lead an incredibly glamorous lifestyle.

That’s not true.  I am still unemployed and just spent two months in Minnesota oversleeping in my parent’s basement while waiting for a work visa that never came.

Moving on to your pressing questions:

Q:  Was your husband thrilled to see you at the airport?
A:  Perhaps.  I believe it was overshadowed by this…

Q:  Were you delighted to be back in your husband’s arms?
A:  Perhaps.  I believe it was overshadowed by this…

(Which is quite suspicious considering the text I received from him just days prior stating “THE PLANTS ARE NOT DEAD”.)

Q:  Where is your work visa and when will you once again become a productive member of society?
A:  Fabulous question.  Although I’m not sure where my visa is currently located, I have been told I will fly to Argentina to gather my papers on July 31st.

Q:  Are you excited for work to begin?
A:  Yes and no.  For normal reasons, yes.  For the impending requirement that I shower daily and reenter society, no.

Q:  What will you do with the remainder of your short-lived early retirement?
A:  Savor every last moment.  My aunt & uncle arrive this weekend, followed by my sister who will be staying the month of July.  We are traveling to the Amazon jungle.

That last part is very new and sensitive information.  The husband has only heard rumblings and has no awareness that the tickets were recently purchased.  In fact, he probably thinks this is impossible considering my current financial state.

Speaking of which, I can no longer afford my weekly allotment of cheese.

Donations of cheese will be welcomed.

The following conversation should give you an idea of what our trip will entail:

She is super excited.  This is SO WORTH the temporary loss of cheese from my diet.